More Grateful Than Before

Dannah Gresh: Here's some of what we heard on yesterday's Revive Our Hearts:

Ciara Dierking: I developed a really bad cough. I knew that something was definitely wrong. I was having a hard time taking a deep breath, and it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. They pretty quickly put me on oxygen. 

David Dierking: We had a meeting with one of the doctors. He said, “There’s nothing else that we can do.” He said that she’s on full life support.

We were told very early on that there was a good chance that Ciara might lose limbs. I could see her fingertips start turning black, and then I could see it going up her arm. It was a specialist with the arms and legs who just flat-out told us that she’s going to lose all of them.

Ciara: Honestly, it still felt like I had my hands and my feet. I just remember the moment that I found out I did not, just by looking down. I had not even thought of looking because I felt like I had my limbs. 

And then I remembered seeing the bandages and realized what happened. That was devastating! It was a really, really hard day. I had been kind of upbeat and excited that I was awake and excited to go home . . . and then I realized I didn't have my limbs. 

I remember telling my mom . . . I couldn't speak, so mouthing to my mom, “I'm done.”

Dannah: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Choosing Gratitude for Tuesday, November 12, 2024. I'm Dannah Gresh.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Yesterday, we got to know two people who have encouraged and inspired me so much over this past year. If you missed part 1 of David and Ciara Dierking’s story, I know you'll want to listen to that at ReviveOurHearts.com. 

When we ended the story yesterday, Ciara had woken up after spending several months in a coma. While she was asleep, the medicine used to save her life cut off circulation in her extremities, then infections set in. Doctors ended up having to amputate her arms and her legs.

We heard how Ciara had been reading my book Choosing Gratitude just before she got sick and went into the hospital, and how the book offered help to her family while she was in a coma. 

Ciara: As soon as I started reading the book, I knew it would be a book I would need to read over and over again. I am the type of person that easily finds flaws in things much more readily than I find the good things to be grateful for. 

And Nancy mentioned specifically in the book how gratitude is essential for healthy and stable relationships. I knew I needed to work on gratitude in my marriage and especially in my parenting—thinking I am serving more than David, or I'm doing more parenting here, or with the kids just being aggravated if they were messing up my plans for the day. I just had a real lack of joy in the service that I was doing for people. I can serve really well, but I wasn't doing it very joyfully. 

Nancy (on air): As you give Him thanks, He promises that His peace, that supernatural, unexplainable peace, will be like a guardrail, a fortress, a bodyguard around your mind and around your heart. 

Ciara: Nancy talks about how gratitude is a life preserver. It keeps you from drowning when you're in difficult circumstances, and that was very true—especially in the hospital, when things were the same day after day, and I wasn’t able to drink or eat or talk. 

 

It was just a very low time in my life. And so, I had asked for a gratitude journal to try and have whoever was with me that day write down some things in the journal that I was thankful for: it was a card or flowers or pictures that people sent who were taking care of the boys, family members that were coming in to stay with me. It was things that I was writing down and finding the goodness of God, even in a time when I really wanted to just have a pity party. Gratitude really was a life preserver for me. 

I had asked for the gratitude journal when I had moved over to a unit where they work on getting you off of the ventilator. It was dragging on and on. It was really hard to get off of that. I really needed to choose gratitude every day there. 

David: There were moments where we were frustrated with each other because she was trying to communicate with me with things that she wanted, and I was the absolute worst lip reader. 

But one of the things that we found to do together that really helped was to to start listing out the things that we were grateful for, and it made a huge difference. 

We talked about the house that He had provided us here, and how it's much better set up for her and for her wheelchair. Just being thankful for our family and that they now lived close. Being thankful for our boys and the joy that they brought us. People that would send us photos and videos of the things that the boys were doing through the day. Being thankful for our church and all the encouragement that they gave us and all the different ways that they've helped us. 

And you know, when you start listing out all the things that the Lord has blessed us with, suddenly you realize, we really do have a lot to be thankful for!

Ciara: So when I came home from the hospital, I was so excited. I was elated. I had finished the journey in the hospital, and I was done with that. But coming home the next day, I realized that I was not at all done. This was a totally new journey, and it was hard. It hit me really hard. 

Nobody warned me that coming home and just seeing the places where I used to walk and serve and and just get down on the ground and play with my kids, just being back in my own home was really devastating. It was not what I thought it was going to be. 

The day after I came home from the hospital, I had that moment where I was done. I really didn't want to be there. I couldn't see how I would ever be the wife or mom that I had been in this condition. I was really struggling. 

David: That was probably one of the lowest points for us, when we first came home. She ended up back in the emergency room. When we got there, they didn't have any beds, and we spent the night, the two of us, on a gurney. She still had a pretty bad back wound, and she was in a lot of pain.

It just seemed like things were the lowest at that point, and we just started listing out the things that God had blessed us with through this whole process, the ways that we had seen Him work. I think that completely changed things for us, because when we came home the second time, I feel like our perspective was a lot different that time. I really felt like it was a redo. The second time we came home was a lot different than the first. 

Ciara: A friend from church was dropping off some food. They came right into our bedroom, our very messy, messy bedroom, and she sat on my bed. She told me that right now my job was to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and that I could not keep thinking those thoughts. I had to really just take those thoughts captive. 

I remember thinking that all throughout the night. I was having trouble sleeping. I just kept waking up over and over again and thinking to myself, I've got to take every thought captive, and I have to trust God for this hour. She said this, “Don't even look ahead into the day. Just ask God to help you in this hour.” And so that's what I did. God was gracious. 

Our kids came back to stay with us a couple weeks after I had been home. God really used them to encourage me. They just kept looking at me and saying, “Oh, I love you, Mom. I love you, Mom. I'm so glad you're home.” And giving me so many hugs and kisses and snuggles. And after that, there was no doubt that I was not done. My kids were so excited. Their prayers had been answered, that I was still here. 

God would help me through day by day. So, if someone else is thinking that they are done, I would say, “Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Let people into your life.” 

I didn't want people to come over, but it is not good to suffer alone. Let people come in and help you. Be honest with people. I didn't want to scare people by telling them that I was done and I didn't want to be here. But it's really important to be honest with people and to share that, because they can pray for you. They can be with you. They can reach out to somebody who is in a similar situation. 

My mom and my sister-in-law found somebody to talk to me who had also lost their limbs. Just speaking to her and hearing her story and how she's ten years past it was a great encouragement to me. So being open with others and sharing that. 

Being in God's Word, and not just being in it, but memorizing it, and finding some Scriptures that speak to whatever is going on in your life, and just memorizing those Scriptures and meditating on them. The Word of God is powerful and active, and it is going to change your heart and mind like nothing else can.

Nancy (on air): The attitude of gratitude is what brings about the peace of God. We're familiar with that passage in Philippians chapter 4, where the apostle Paul says, “Be anxious for nothing.” Some translations say, “Don't worry about anything; instead, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” (v. 6) 

Don't worry about anything. Instead, tell God your needs. Give Him your requests. Lift your supplications to Him. But make sure that as you do, you do it with thanksgiving—thanksgiving before you even get the answers, thanksgiving because He is great and He is good, even if He doesn't do what you're asking Him to do.

Ciara: Nancy says in her book, “You cannot whine and worship at the same time.” So, I cannot think about just self-pity and getting sucked into that and at the same time thanking God for something in my life. They're exact opposites. They're pulling you in two different directions. 

And to be honest, self-pity is the easiest direction to go. It will quickly suck you in. It sucks me in sometimes. I find myself crying, and I think that happens sometimes. You get sucked into self-pity and cry about some things. But God is gracious. When you turn back to Him, He's ready and waiting to be there for you and to help you. 

Nancy (on air): You will be able to rest in your heart, even if battle is raging around you. You will have peace, the peace of God, not because your circumstances have all worked out to your liking, not because God has granted everything that you've asked Him to give you, but because God's presence will come in response to your thanksgiving.

Ciara: Something that I just looked at the other day was how Nancy talks about gratitude being a lifestyle—a grace-filled, biblical lifestyle—that you have to choose every day to fight for. It's not something that comes natural to us. It's something that you have to work hard on. I do find that to be true. 

 

Sometimes I wake up and look at the wheelchair, and I think, Oh, I don't want to get in that wheelchair. I wish I didn't have that wheelchair. But then the other day, David took the wheelchair to get a lock system placed on the bottom so I can easily enter the van. When I didn't have the wheelchair, I was like, “I really wish I had that wheelchair.” So I think God uses little things like that to teach me that there's a lot to be grateful for. 

Everything that happens in a Christian's life is somehow for our good and at the same time for His glory. This is not just Him trying to glorify Himself through doing something harmful to me. Somehow it's also for my good and for His glory at the same time. 

That's another thing. I have a sticker by my bed, and that's what it says. It says, “For my good and His glory.” It’s just another thing I have to remind myself of every day, sometimes throughout the day, when I'm feeling discouraged or frustrated; that this is somehow going to work His will in my life. Change me; change my kids, my family, something. He has a plan for it.

David: Those things that mean the most to us, that we are the most thankful for, they aren't going to change. Those things aren't affected by the fact that she doesn't have arms or legs.

Ciara: Since it does not look like I'm going to have an easy life, I can still have joy, and maybe even more joy than before, because really, before my joy was very much based on my circumstances. It would change from moment to moment depending on how the boys were behaving or misbehaving. 

I think that something I learned through this is that joy is possible always if you are looking to Jesus for it. I think the gospel has never seemed so wonderful as when so much of what you counted on for joy before has been taken away and you're trying to find that joy again. The gospel has just been such a comfort and a joy, the fact that Jesus is with us always, and God is caring for us always, and the hope of heaven sounds even better now than it did before. 

My youngest, he'll be like, “In heaven, Mom, you'll have your arms and legs.” It's so true. I'm so excited for that, to be able to walk again on my own legs and to be with God!

David: Our boys still love her even though she doesn't have arms and legs. They are still praying for her every day.

Ciara: I really hope that what my boys learn is the power of prayer. When I was in the hospital, they prayed for me every day. My youngest, if someone did not pray for me, he would tell them afterwards, “Hey, you forgot to pray for my mom.” So they prayed for me every day. 

I told them yesterday, “Pastor is talking about King Hezekiah and how he was sick and he was about to die. God gave him fifteen more years. Boys, you prayed for me every day, and I know that God saved Mommy's life. God listened to our prayers. His answer is not always yes, but in this case, it was.” I just hope that they really remember how powerful prayer is, and that it's the most powerful thing you can do for your kids, your spouse, yourself, your friends, your family. I hope that they remember that. I hope that they could say of me, that I trusted God when things didn't make sense. 

I am really grateful to be back home and to be a mom again. I'm really grateful for David sticking by my side through sickness and in health. I looked really rough at times. I was pretty rough. Apparently, I was quite blunt when I was in the hospital, and David has stuck by my side through it all. 

I'm very, very grateful for the families who watched our kids when we were in the hospital. Our pastor's family and another sweet family from church took our kids in and treated them just like their own kids. They homeschooled them and took them to the splash pad and out to Sonic. I just could not imagine what we would have done without them. I had so much peace in the hospital knowing that they were being really well taken care of. That was a huge blessing! 

Our church family when we came home provided meals for months. I had meals, breakfast, snacks. It was just a huge relief, because I when I came home from the hospital, I was just so tired and so weak I couldn't even decide what kind of cereal to have for breakfast. So the fact that people provided meals for my family and me was a huge relief.

I’m grateful for the amazing help that God provided. We had a great helper with us over the summer. When she went back to college, I was really fearful about who was going to come and take her place. We had someone come and try for a couple days, and it wasn't a good fit for her. We were without help for a little bit, and that was really hard, but I knew that God is very able to provide and in His timing. 

We were maybe without help for a week, and then He brought a girl into our lives who is a believer. She's encouraging, and she cleans the house and organizes like I did. She's great with my kids, and she's just been a huge, huge blessing to us. 

Also I’m grateful for my mentor. I had a mentor before I was sick. I had a mentor at our old church before we moved. When I came here, I asked Pastor if he knew of anyone who would want to kind of give me advice for parenting and marriage and life in general. And so, I had a mentor and friend. 

She came to the hospital, even though she said she didn't know what to say. She came to the hospital and was very encouraging. She sat by my bed and just cried with me. She just said, “God is good.” That's what I needed to hear. I needed to be reminded, even though I was a believer, that God is good. 

She wrote out verses and put little flowers around it and hung it at the end of my bed. That was just such an encouragement to me in the hospital. She still comes every week to read different books with me. She gives me memory verses to memorize, and somehow she just knows just the verses I need, or God knows just the verses I need for that week to be encouraged and uplifted by and to make it through each day. So, she's been a huge blessing, and I'm really grateful for her. 

After going through what I've been through and just how low that was, it's a bit easier for me now to have gratitude for even a cup of water. Because for so many months, I just was watching people drink bottles of water and really wishing I could have some water. So just being able to get out of bed, to be in my own home, to go outside, there's a lot of things that I took for granted before that are things I'm really grateful for today. 

Before I felt entitled, and I just did not realize it. I think a lot of us don't realize how good our lives really are until that's taken away from you, and to be able to get any of it back seems like a real blessing.

Nancy: I hope you will take a few minutes and list some things you’re grateful for, just as Ciara has been doing. David and Ciara’s story tells us something powerful: we really can give thanks in all circumstances. And when we do, it will greatly affect the way we handle those circumstances.

I have been following David and Ciara’s story since January of this year. Over and over again, I’ve been amazed at how they’ve handled each challenge with joy, with trust in the Lord, and even with a sense of humor.

A couple of months ago we sent a team to the Dierking’s home in South Carolina to interview them and film a video with them. It’s a must-watch video. You can see it at a link in the transcript of this program at ReviveOurHearts.com.

Every year Revive Our Hearts produces a new wall calendar, and so many listeners look forward to getting a copy. As Robert and I continued to read updates from the Dierkings, Robert said one day, “We should dedicate this year’s calendar to them.” A great idea! So that’s what we did.

When you open the cover, you’ll see a picture of the sweatshirt Ciara was wearing when she entered the hospital. It says, “Always Grateful.” And then as you turn page after page, you’ll read quotes from my book Choosing Gratitude.

None of us knows what the next twelve months will hold. What we do know is there will be ups and downs. My prayer is that through it all we will all remain grateful. I hope and pray this calendar will a visible remind you to be thankful every day in the year ahead.

Dannah: Here’s how to get your copy of the 2025 wall calendar. Visit ReviveOurHearts.com. Make a donation of any amount, then ask for the Choosing Gratitude wall calendar, or call 1-800-569-5959. 

You can also see this story on video. A team from Revive Our Hearts visited the Dierkings in their home and filmed their story. You can see it all at ReviveOurHearts.com and share it. I know your friends will be encouraged by this powerful portrait of gratitude.

Imagine if your heart were a garden. Are you cultivating more grumbling or more gratitude? Tomorrow Mary Kassian will show you how to make thankful attitudes grow. Please be back for Revive Our Hearts.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.